Somewhere Between

This is where life happens – where relationships rise and fall, where empires succeed or meet their demise. These are the deep waters: the glorious terrible space between the mirage and the facts, between waking and the dream. This is where we live and where our song is born. Somewhere between chaos and the control – these are the wonderlands.
~ Jon Foreman – “Chaos vs. Control”

For as long as I can remember I’ve had an issue with these two things; chaos and control. Those who know me well would say I’m organized and like structure. It’s true. (And, honestly, it’s what helped me successfully make it through my college years). But sometimes it’s both a blessing and a curse.

Organization is one thing, but structure is another. A few years ago I realized that it had reached a point where I was so structured I had trouble doing anything out of my normal routine. It was becoming monotonous. I knew I had to break free. On the flip side, those same people would say that I’m also spontaneous.

I know, two opposite ends of the spectrum.

But then I stop and think, “Do any of us like dealing with things that are out of our control?” Absolutely not. None of us want to feel like we have no say. No one likes feeling as if they’re spinning in circles.

And that’s what I believe leads to structure. If things are planned out perfectly then everything will go according to plan. There will be no room for errors.


It’s all an illusion.

Don’t misunderstand me. There’s nothing wrong with being organized and structured (I still am…to a point), but there is a point where a line is crossed and being structured takes over. It becomes, dare I say it, unhealthy.

We have to learn to roll with the punches. We can’t control everything.

I’ve learned that life is made up of moments. Most of these moments are chaotic. There are times of peace, but there is always chaos. Life is chaos and there are many things that we can’t control. The secret is to find the balance between the things we can control and the things we can’t, as hard as it might be.

I know I’m still working on it.

From chaos is born beauty. It’s true. At least in my opinion. Some of the most lovely, memorable moments in our lives have come from chaos. Think about it. I’m sure you can think of at least one.

Sometimes I believe unpredictability breeds chaos. Within recent years I’ve started to fall in love with unpredictability. The idea that anything can happen and everyday is an adventure both excites and scares me. But just like we can’t control everything, we also can’t always throw caution to the wind. There is a balance and we have to find it.

It’s like Jon says in the above quote, “Somewhere between chaos and control – these are the wonderlands.”

If this is where life happens, where we thrive, then I want to live in this place known as The Wonderlands. I want to live, to dream, to sing. I want to know where I’m going and at the same time have no idea. I want to be open to the everyday possibilities of the unknown. I want to embrace the chaos instead of trying to control it.

Yes, I think I would like to live in this place called The Wonderlands. Wouldn’t you?


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