I’m not ashamed to say I cried.
It’s a basic human emotion.
Tears are how we express ourselves when we’re surprised, happy, scared, hurt or even feeling a bit broken.
A few weeks ago I wrote a post about how no one wants to be vulnerable and that both pain and joy are a part of life. I laid out my heart and soul for anyone who cared to see it and confidently stated how I had once again opened myself to the wonders life had to offer.
Well, right now, I’m feeling both the pain and joy.
But I still believe it’s worth it.
I know when I’ve found something good.
Never surrender to the pain. That’s when it’s the easiest to walk away, to give up.
But giving up isn’t the right choice.
Giving up means not only purging ourselves of the pain, but also stepping away from the joy. In that way, we only end up hurting ourselves.
The truth is, this, all this, is called life. The pain and joy, the highs and lows – it’s called living.
I’ve mentioned in multiple posts that I want to live. I want to experience the greatest of highs and the lowest of lows and everything in between. I want to live a full life and live while I have the chance. And that’s exactly what I intend to do. That’s exactly what I’ve been doing. It’s for this one reason, well one of the reasons, that I’ve decided to take the pain and joy as a package deal. I’ve decided to let the pain burn my eyes and stab at my heart. After a moment this feeling will pass and the joy will shine through. I know my happiness is stronger then any hurt that could be brought upon my heart.
And it’s been a long time since I’ve been this happy.
Sometimes I think life tests us. Sometimes I think life wants to help make us stronger and see how resilient we are. Sometimes I think life wants to see just how much we want the happiness that had been placed before us, how much we’re willing to fight.
Joy is a wonderful gift that fills us and makes our hearts swell inside out chest. In certain aspects of my life it’s a feeling I’ve long forgotten. But now that I’ve found it again, I’m not letting go. I’m not taking it for granted and I’m embracing it everyday.