“If I left, if I walked away, would you fight for me to be part of your life?”
“I don’t know.”
I continued to stare at him. So this was how he was going to act during this make or break moment.
His eyes flicked up at me – once, twice, three times. It was almost as if he couldn’t look at me. Maybe he was lying. Maybe he didn’t know what to say. Maybe he was just nervous.
Either way, his silence began to speak volumes before he even spoke.
“Would you fight for me?” I asked again in my head.
“I don’t know,” he said again. “Why don’t you try it and find out.”
It sounded like a challenge, like a continuation of this game that I had grown increasingly tired of over the last few months.
“You know what, babe,” I stood tall and continued to stare. “Maybe this is your chance to figure that out.”
And then I walked away.
I knew he wouldn’t chase me across the parking lot. I knew he wouldn’t follow me down the stairs. I knew he wouldn’t even call after me once I reached the door.
As hard as it is to admit it to myself, I know he won’t fight for me.
Whether it be that he’s a coward, afraid or simply doesn’t care anymore – I know he won’t fight for me.
I’m well aware that life isn’t a movie. I realize life isn’t a novel. I know life is more complicated then either of these medias illustrate (most times). But if a man truly cares, I believe he’ll be there no matter what. He’ll want to fix the things that went wrong. He’ll want to at least attempt to see if they can be worked out. He’ll fight for you.
I think we all, women and men, deserve someone who will fight for them. It’s another way of showing how much you care, to be there not only during the good times but the bad times too.
That’s what I want.
I want a someone who will always be by my side – who will defend, protect and encourage me. I want a man who’s going to love me as much as I’ll love him. I want a man who’s willing to fight for me, for us, when I start to become tired. I want a partner who realizes that I’m worth the fight (even if it’s a little ugly at the moment). I want a man who knows that the fight is simply part of the dance.
Please take a moment to listen to this song, if you wish. Not only is he a talented musician, but the lyrics fit the situation perfectly.