More Than

I’ve been told I take it too seriously…and maybe, at times, I do.

I’ve been told I’m “old school”…and maybe, at times, I am.

I’ve heard people say “it is what it is”…and maybe it is.

But not to me.

To me, it’s more.

It’s a topic I rarely talk about and barely write about because it’s intimate, personal. Although, maybe, if we were all a little more open about it, we would understand each other better.

So what am I referring to?


And how exactly did this become the topic of conversation?

Well, the other night a friend and I were discussing it. I forget exactly how it made its way into our conversation, but he and I were talking about it.

Yes, a male and a female perspective. How they’re so different and, yet, similar. (And yes, we debated a lot and in the end agreed on a lot too.)

So here we go. Maybe, after this, we’ll be one step closer to understanding each other more. If not, well, at the very least maybe someone out there, male or female, can find even the smallest nugget of wisdom within these words.

My friend started off the conversation with a bang. Apparently we (women) have to “give it up” at some point in order to keep the interest intact, but I believe women can lose interest in men just as easily. We’re all different, but from my observation and experience, if a woman is feeling neglected, unwanted, unloved then she can start to lose interest. If she’s beginning to feel single, while still in a relationship, even after trying to salvage it, then she will begin to act single and slowly pull away. Circle back to the “give it up” scenario and, the truth is, we (women), or anybody for that matter, don’t have to do anything. Sex shouldn’t be something that’s done just to keep a person’s interest level up. It shouldn’t be something that’s sought after like a prize. It should be much more…because it is much more.

There’s a difference between love and lust. I’m not an expert on any of this, but, like others, I have insight and know the difference between the two. There may be a thin line between love and lust, but when you lust after someone you’re only interest seems to be in their body. When you love someone you’re interested in their body, but it’s more than that because you’re also interested in their mind and their soul.

I’ll admit that I agreed with my friend pretty readily on one point – when in a relationship it’ll, probably, reach a point where there’s a desire for sex. However, I want to be very clear on this point. It should be wanted by both parties. No one should feel forced. No one should feel like they have to partake in the act. And it’s alright to say no.

On the other side of the coin, sex is wonderful – with the right person. It’s ok to wait. There’s no time stamp on who or when we must share this special moment. And this goes for both men and women. So, I’ll say it again…it’s ok to wait.

There are guys out there who will be patient. There are guys out there who care about the woman that they’re with so much that they’ll wait until they’re ready. They may bring it up, as a friendly reminder, but they won’t push it. They’ll wait. And I believe that goes both ways. (I used to have one of these guys, so, if you’re lacking hope that they really do exist, well, I can confidently say that they do.)

Sex is more than tangled limbs. It’s more than something to do on a rainy morning, on a sunny spring day or a cold winter night. It’s more than an act. When it’s done in the name of love, it’s beautiful. When two people are connected so deeply that they want to know each other and bond on a higher level – an intimate, deeper, sexual level – it’s more than words may ever be able to express.

At first I didn’t get it, but then, after a moment, I completely understood. When you’re laying in bed with someone completely naked…it’s the most naked you’ll ever be. And I don’t mean no clothes naked. I mean emotionally naked. It’s more than attempting to hide your flaws or put your best self forward because it’s in this moment that everything falls away and you realize (even more so) how much you love the other person, how special they are to you and how you’re willing to give them everything. And that’s a feeling words may never be able to do justice.

It becomes more than just a touch – it’s electric. It’s more than the sensation of heat pouring from the other’s body, the synchronized breathing and the sound of each other’s heart beating – it’s two slowly becoming one. And when you come together it’s more than just sex. It’s the soul staring look that’s returned by both as they hold each other’s gaze. It’s the fiery passion of kisses (both passionate and tender). No, it’s so much more than the simple act of sex…it’s two souls meeting, two souls touching, two souls being intertwined.


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