He Said

he told me I was difficult
that I was hard to handle
that I was broken, flawed
that I wasn’t enough
that no one would ever love me
and I almost believed it
until
I met someone
who told me
that I was strong
that I was ambition
that I was beautiful
that I was enough
he told me he’d love me, always

Sponsored Post Learn from the experts: Create a successful blog with our brand new courseThe WordPress.com Blog

WordPress.com is excited to announce our newest offering: a course just for beginning bloggers where you’ll learn everything you need to know about blogging from the most trusted experts in the industry. We have helped millions of blogs get up and running, we know what works, and we want you to to know everything we know. This course provides all the fundamental skills and inspiration you need to get your blog started, an interactive community forum, and content updated annually.

Simplicity

night falls
stars rise
hold your hand in mine
wrapped in your strong embrace
your breath breaks upon my face
sweetness
pure and simple
as pale moon light
slips through the blinds
our fingers intertwined
while your heart beats constant
next to mine

Life

When we’re young, we build a picture of what life’s going to be.

But life is rarely how we imagine it.

I know I never dreamed my life would be what it is today.

But things change, for better or worse, and all those things that happen, well, that’s called life.

Growing up, I was always this free spirited, ambition kid. I was always the look-on-the-bright-side kid. I was always, always the dreamer.

Lucky for me, some things never change. Especially when life tends to change so fast, for better or worse.

From the time I was in middle school, I held down at least one job. (Granted the middle school years consisted of babysitting, but a job is a job. Plus, I loved those kids and was lucky enough to watch a couple of them grow up.) My point is, I’ve always had a job and a steady income.

Until now.

From the time I was in high school, I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Well, I knew the career path I wanted. So, I went to college on said career path. I never even imagined the slightest change of mind.

Until now.

From the time I was in high school, I also knew the type of man I wanted in my life. Ask any of the people closest to me and they’ll probably tell you that I’m one of the pickiest women they know when it comes to dating. And I am. I know I am. For good reason too. (There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want and what you’re looking for in a life partner.) But a few no-good men (and that’s putting it mildly) had me second guessing myself, my own judgement. I knew what I had to offer. But they had me wondering if it was enough, if I was enough. I knew what I wanted. But they had me questioning if it truly existed. So, after everything, I started to think that, maybe, I was better off alone.

Until now.

Today I’m an independent writer/photographer. It’s not a steady job and I certainly don’t get a steady paycheck, but the things I’ve done, the places I’ve seen, and the people I’ve met along the way make it all worth it. After all, there’s more riches in life than money.

Today I’m with the greatest man I’ve ever known in this life. Sure, he’s not perfect. No one is. But I like him flaws and all. He’s my best friend and so much more. He’s the man I love. And here’s a little secret (or maybe it’s not a secret and blatantly obvious when people see us together) – I’m going to spend the rest of my life with him. Whatever that life might be and wherever it may lead, I know he’s going to be a part of it.

So, no, life is hardly perfect and rarely the same as the image we created for ourselves when we were younger.

There’s nothing wrong with that though.

And my life is nothing like I imagined it would be when I was younger. Life never is. I’m still that free spirited, ambition, look-on-the-bright-side (most days), always, always the dreamer type of person, but life in general is so different from how I imagined it all those years ago. And that’s the beauty of it – being open to the twists and turns and little surprises – because my life today is better than I ever could’ve imagined it.

Finding Creativity

It’s been about a year since I picked up a camera. (Well, a little over a year at this point.)

Most of my work is concert and travel related. With those things gone and the messy state of the world, I found it hard to be creative.

So, the days, weeks, months continued to pass and I didn’t take a single photo. I used to look at my camera, missing how it felt in my hands, missing the fun and joy photography always brought me.

There was one exception, one summer, when I picked up a Polaroid. It was a new camera. I’d been wanting to test it out for months, experiment, but creativity was still fighting to come back. This was the only time I had a sudden burst of creative energy, but even than I only took a few photos.

The rest of the year flew by, my hands never touching a camera.

But then 2021 came.

And things started to change.

I found my way back, in many ways.

I picked up a camera again, even started snapping pictures with my phone.

I made my way back to nature. Not that it ever left. After all, nature is all around, but, for so long, I feel like it went unnoticed. Life seemed to, almost, simply slip by. The messy state of things was enough to kill nearly any creative thought, bearing down as the prominent thing in life, branching out to cause stress, anxiety, and fear, among other things. But, despite it all, I found my way back to one of the subjects I’ve always enjoyed photographing.

Nature, no matter the season, is always so beautiful, so profound. It keeps little secrets folded among its leaves and trees, its ground and roots, its bodies of water and solid shores – everywhere. Its beauty and grandeur are revealed on a large scale and in the details, if we’re willing to open our eyes.

And I found all those things again.

Standing in the middle of the woods, along the edge of a lake, I found all those things again.

Or maybe they found me.

Either way, it was like discovering nature and photography for the first time.

I almost forgot what it felt like, but, then, I realized the memories were always there and simply muddled by this messy world. And that’s when I remembered something I already knew – the world, like life, for one reason or another, is always going to be messy.

So, here’s the thing. I think creativity is one of those things that will almost always come and go, always ebb and flow. Sometimes there will be creative bursts. Other times there will be creative slumps. The thing to remember is – it happens to everyone. So, for those of you who are struggling and find yourself in a creative slump, just know that it won’t last. Eventually creativity resurfaces – wherever it might be – for inspiration is everywhere.

To see more photos please visit my website.

Calls of Spring

through blue skies
they fly
in set formation
calling to those below
the promise
warmer days will come
as the snow melts
and the ground thaws
the gradual change
of seasons
has arrived

Broken Rules

care
but not too much
for it will crush your heart
break your bones
drain you dry
so it’s better to hide
not as a coward
but for protection
to place your heart in a cage
file restriction
make rules
build walls
all in the name of self-preservation
or so whisper the voices
fears within dreams
shadows of the night
ghosts of the past
who wish to remain alive
but I’ve never been that person
one for following rules
and even so
I know I would’ve broken them
these rules
meaningless
the moment I said
I love you

Butterfly Roses (A 500 Word Story)

The moon hung in the sky like a gem, casting down its light across the field of wild roses. Each petal glowed with a blue hue, as if by magic.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” she said more to herself than anyone else.

She continued standing in the middle of the old stone bridge, catching a glimpse of him smiling at her.

“It’s the field of white roses,” he said. “How did you ever find this place?”

“I call them butterfly roses.” She smiled sweetly, causing him to do so too.

“Of course you do. You’ve always believed in magic.”

“That’s because this world is full of it. You only have to be willing to notice.”

She glided off the bridge and through the field. Her white, cotton dress was illuminated in the same blueish hue as the petals. When she spun around, the hem of her dress flew out, like a flower in bloom, as she laid herself among the roses.

A moment passed and she heard the rhythmic patter of footsteps, like a heartbeat – his heartbeat. She closed her eyes, remembering all the times she rested her head upon his chest, the sound of life pulsing within, filling her own life with warmth.

“So, how did you manage to find this place?” His voice pulled her from the memory, as he now laid beside her.

“Sometimes, I wonder if I found it or if it found me. Or, maybe, we found each other.”

His fingers brushed the back of her hand, gently circling around to trace her palm before their fingers intertwined. She turned her head to meet his gaze. Raising her hand to his lips, he kissed it. His kiss was soft, gentle, and guaranteed to bring a smile to her face.

The early morning hours passed in silence. She believed silence had a way of being its own beautiful language. Their hands stayed clasped together as they remained in the field of wild white roses, watching the first light of dawn crest over the horizon.

And with the first light came a single white butterfly.

She squeezed his hand.

As the sky warmed, the blue tinge that once lighted the field began to vanish. The roses glowed a pale yellow, the morning emitting a magic all its own. Each petal broke from its assigned rose, but instead of falling to the ground it floated to the sky, transforming into a small, white butterfly. Within minutes, the field was replaced by new roses while the sky held hundreds of butterflies.

They flew inches from her face. One landed on her nose and she laughed her melodic laugh. She reached her hand toward the sky, allowing a butterfly to perch on her finger. Slowly turning her head toward him, she noticed he was already looking at her, a gentle smile spread across his face, two butterflies resting on his cheek. She smiled back, squeezing his hand, as they both turned their heads to watch the white butterflies flutter across the ever-brightening sky.

Curveballs

In baseball, a curveball is a type of pitch thrown with a strong downward spin, causing the ball to drop and veer as it approaches home plate.

In life, a curveball is an event that we never anticipated, which then has a tendency to take us down a different path from the one we were on.

A curveball, in both instances, introduces a significant deviation.

The thoughts come to me, mostly, at night. They float to the forefront of my mind as I’m lying there in bed, staring up at the ceiling fan and its silhouette that reminds me of a starfish. Or when I’m curled up on my side, looking at the blueish white tinge of the blinds as the night shines through. The ideas take shape when it’s dark and quiet and still, when I’m simply resting, no longer thinking about the day and my mind in relaxed.

And one of the biggest curveballs life ever threw my way is lying beside me.

Sometimes I can hear the gentle breathing from his side of the bed. Sometimes his arm gently rests across me. Sometimes we’re snuggled so close I can feel the heat from his body and the beating of his heart. But no matter the position of which we sleep, I often find myself wondering the same thing and asking the same question – how did I get so lucky?

I’ve heard it’s nearly impossible to hit a curveball due to its spin and sudden break as it reaches the plate. Then again, I’m not a baseball expert. Although, from what I do know, when executed correctly by the pitcher, a batter usually swings too early at a curveball, as they might have been expecting a fastball.

While this is a legitimate and fair pitch in the game of baseball, it’s often seen as a negative term when it comes to life. Most people see a curveball in life as unfair, cruel, illegal or even immoral. The idea of life throwing us a curveball has formed into an idea of a rude awakening, a derailment from our well thought out plan from A to B.

I don’t necessarily agree with this negative thinking. Of course, these so-called curveballs aren’t always going to be good things that happen, but that’s just life – the bad mixed with the good. There are times where we might get up to bat and strike out. Other times we might be able to connect, maybe even hit it out of the park. (Thankfully I seem to have a high batting average and was able to connect with this curveball. I never saw this one coming, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.) Either way, I believe life has a way of working things out. I believe life has a way of presenting us with unexpected gifts. We tend to see them as curveballs, negative things that will knock us off balance, but the truth is, they can be positive – very positive.

So, when night falls and I’m lying there in bed with my thoughts, curled up to my special someone, my mind can’t help but wonder the same question it’s thought so many times before – how did I get so lucky? It’s a rhetorical question. I don’t need, or even want, an answer. It’s just that I don’t take the things and people in my life for granted and I can’t help but think about my own luck, my own good fortune. I can’t help but think that I must have done something right in this life for God to give me this gift, this wonderful person who I call my special someone.